It's just another day in Brooklyn & I'm not impressed.

It's another sweltering hot, unbearable day here in "le Concrete Jungle". On day's such as this, it's best to draw the curtains in your apartment, blast the AC and play trivia games alone on your lap top, unless of course you have one of those .. "jobs?" is that what those things are called .. still called, rather? Job or Jobless, I personally don't like summer in the city. I was raised on the Jersey Shore so in the summer my destination of choice usually involves a beach setting. Don't get me wrong, I love the city in the winter, but summer's here are brutal and smelly. No one ever looks happy walking the streets of New York City on a muggy mid July afternoon. If you have ever walked around NYC on a hot summer's day you'll know what I am referring to when I say "air smegma". This is the term I use to describe the blurry, smoggy, stinky hot air smog that passes over your toes as you walk near or around any type of ventilation situation. For the average Joe in NYC options are limited for any sort of relief from the heat. Let's face it, Coney Island is a health hazard and city pools are basically like giant germ cesspools that offer no relief. I once went to the Van Cortland pool in the Bronx, it was pretty dirt dog, the water looked contaminated with it's own form of liquid veneral disease and there was enough weave floating around to open a wig stand outside of the park. These are the only options for the average Joe, I'm sure rich people in the city don't actually even pretend to believe that public swimming pools actually even exist, I imagine they file "public pools" right along with other fictional topics such as, unicorn's and pensions. I can't even image what type of liquid luxuries must exist on the roof top's of some luxury Manhattan sky rise's, it's best I don't even bother thinking about it. Actually, I have thought about it and I am pretty sure rich people in NYC's summer's look just like Absolut magazine advertisements. Some lady in a slicked back tight bun is resting in a larger than life size margarita glass some where in Manhattan as I type. But imagining these type's of luxuries is really pointless. I'll just ad these thoughts to me iPhone note list entitled "Pipe Dream City".It would basically be like a Jewish kid bothering to write Santa a letter or wrestling with the idea of hanging christmas tree lights on his bed post, unnecessary. Being that I am unemployed, I find myself in a tough predicament, say i had even wanted to take a dip in one of the many city funded, "aid's baths" I don't think i could even afford the three bucks or whatever it is nowadays. Besides, I hit the pavement so hard yesterday with my resume that both of my feet are covered in giant blisters. I thought it would be best if i sat this one out. I thought it would be nice if I treated myself to a nice lunch at the corner deli, in which I paid for with a fist full of change. Being unemployed not only leaves you with an obnoxious amount of free time to think about how bad it is being unemployed but it also leaves you with long term effects,  bitterness and loads of displaced anger toward other's who aren't unemployed. Everyday i walk by restaurants and bar's and look at people sitting in the outdoor seating area, wasting good alcohol, letting beer get warm and not thinking twice about it. I think to myself "dick's", in reality for the cost of how much it is for two pint glass's of draft beer at one of these hip bars could feed me for a good week. I also find in unnecessary to drink top shelf liquor, if and when I am lucky enough to get my hands on a mixed drink, i don't feel the need to push the envelope. After all, liquor is a means to an end, and the end is intoxication. Who am i kidding really, I'd drink a can of aerosol if i didn't think people would question my mental state. Just yesterday while waiting online at a metro card machine I over heard this girl bitching to her friend about how she never has "any idea what to do with all her cash" and how she can "never find a wallet big enough". This put me in a bad mood for approximately two hours, file that problem under #dickproblems. I actually recently stopped caring a wallet all together because it was completely unnecessary, the only thing i kept in my wallet was a laundry Matt card and a faded 711 coffee card from five years ago. I would honestly be humiliated if i got mugged right now during this time period of my life. I would be embarrassed for myself and the shit head that wasted his valuable time and energy trying to rob me. I really love where i live actually, i complain but that's really just what i do in general. There are so many sick places that i have been dying to check out and haven't been able to because of my none existent cash flow. That is why i became utterly enraged and furious at the site of one of the cast members of the HBO show "girl's" walk into the same depressing corner deli that i was eating at. This is the kind of deli that people bring a rusted coffee can full of pennies to, this is the kind of deli that sells "quarter juices" and by "quarter juices" I mean "mondo" juices that have a inch thick layer of dust on them and most likely have been sitting on that same shelf since around the same time as I was getting ready for my kindergarten orientation. So, with that being said, clearly this deli wouldn't be any logical human being's first option, but I'm poor so it's my only option. So to see some HBO star walk through the door and crash my nice lunch out on the town, pushed my right over the edge. Just because the show "Girls" is filmed in Greenpoint doesn't mean that we expect him to be a real life hipster. How dare he walk amongst us? Shouldn't he be eating sushi in Soho. I mean you would think. It was probably the most Brooklyn thing i had ever witnessed. I almost didn't want to acknowledge his existence by letting him know i knew who he was. Being that i have the self control of a hyper active five year old i had to say something. I looked up from my gyro and said, "how about you guy's say that the only nude will be of the ugliest cast member and actually .. not.. have that happen" & he looked up at me a tad bit taken back and replied, "she makes the rules" & i took a quick swig of my diet Pepsi and replied "woof". Perhaps i was a bit out of line and some might say that i really had no right to be this angry over the situation but i was. No one ever saw Jennifer Aniston or Matthew Perry rolling up at Central Perk at nonchalant when THEY WEREN'T IN CHARACTER. I mean, really. It became clear to me that I hit my boiling point and it was only only 3:00 pm and I was calling it a day. I also cursed out loud to myself "Dicks, i live amongst dicks, what is the necessity of having a brand new luxury car in the city?" at the sight of a brand new Lexus SUV parked outside of my apartment. In my bedroom I have dedicated a whole corner to my job application process, It is like a resume graveyard. I could really open up business on the amount of different resumes and cover letters I have made. Every job I have ever tried to have has it's own neon envelope, label and list of job's it was sent out to. I call this "When an aggressive, overachieving person can't find a job", I should really make this a human art exhibit, perhaps fast or file away my resumes naked .. it's an idea, it's got legs.